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Enjoy ^^




You cursed under your breath. "Alfie!where are my tampons?!" you yelled from the bathroom. You opened the cabinet under the sink. You couldn't find them.

"The what?" Alfred asked, walking into the bathroom.

"The tampons!" you snapped. You got up and stood over the counter. You put your hands on you face.

"Okay. Sorry babe," Alfred apologized, placing a hand on your back.  You groaned and went downstairs.

"Go for me, Alfie," you directed to your boyfriend. He groaned.

"Why me?" he asked.

"Because you are the only other person in this house and if you don't get your sorry butt to the drugstore and buy those flipin' tampons right now, I will bleed everywhere and die. Now do you want me to die?"

"He shrunk down a bit and grabbed his keys and wallet.

"Okay, get the ones in the blue box," you told him. He nodded.

----

There were so many blue boxes in the ladies section. Tampons beyond tampons. There were so many.

He finally decided on one blue box with "extra protection!" and a "Leak Guard so you can feel great!"

Eight dollars. Eight dollars for a box of fifty-two tampons.

---

"Thanks, hunny! You're the best!" you said, standing on your tip toes to kiss his cheek.

"...Fuck periods; I'm goin' to the bar," he said. You just laughed.

"Get used to it; shark week happens every month!"  you shouted as he exited the house.
Okay. Fuck Shark Week. I absolutely hate it in every possible form. My body hurts really bad right now.


Comments, I love comments!




I don't own

Alfred
Tampons
or
You
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfemdenmark92:
Femdenmark92 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014
Lmao shark week now that's creative
I call it the Russian/Belarusian week lol
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Haha that's a good one
Reply
:iconasknekonekonihon:
AskNekoNekoNihon Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
(All I saw..."ALFIE WHERE ARE MY TAMPONS!?")
Reply
:iconhetaliais:
hetaliais Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Student Writer
I always use pads, I got my period when I was ten
Reply
:iconshamankingfan13:
shamankingfan13 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Student Artist
I hate periods, I got mine when I was 9 and I hate tampons, mum won't let me but I prefer pads
Reply
:iconhetaliais:
hetaliais Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Student Writer
wow
Reply
:iconshamankingfan13:
shamankingfan13 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Student Artist
yh
Reply
:iconhetaliais:
hetaliais Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Student Writer
hey, guess what, I just got back from a school camp!
Reply
:iconshamankingfan13:
shamankingfan13 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Student Artist
School camp seriously?! :iconshockedplz:
Reply
:iconhetaliais:
hetaliais Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Student Writer
yeah, we went to ERRAPPA in Iron Knob, a town in South Australia, strangely, winter only ended a little while ago but Iron Knob was WAY too hot
Reply
:iconshamankingfan13:
shamankingfan13 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Student Artist
wow
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconasknekonekonihon:
AskNekoNekoNihon Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
(Well, I got mine at 12. . .I'm STILL not allowed tampons...eventhough their never too big enough to hurt me!) (*rant*rant*rant*)
Reply
:iconhetaliais:
hetaliais Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Student Writer
I use the pads, I don't mind because. but I've already gotten used to them, I'm already on my third one this year! and to make matters worse, it turns out when you get pregnet you get them for six weeks! I've already lost lots of blood
Reply
:iconasknekonekonihon:
AskNekoNekoNihon Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
(UGH!)
Reply
:iconhetaliais:
hetaliais Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Student Writer
yep
Reply
:iconasknekonekonihon:
AskNekoNekoNihon Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
(I HATE THE TIME OF THE MONTH!!! IT HURTSSS!!!)
Reply
:iconhetaliais:
hetaliais Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Student Writer
I know
Reply
:iconasknekonekonihon:
AskNekoNekoNihon Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
(my mother said it was just uncomfortable)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconhetaliais:
hetaliais Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Student Writer
my family keep them handy in case, I already knew about it but I was in a horrible mood
Reply
:iconkimlena153:
kimlena153 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i remember i had to ask my brother to get me tampons before XD i got so bitchy that week he was terrified. he didnt know how long they lasted either so the next day he was like, your better righT? i was like motherf***er no!!
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Hahaha
Reply
:iconsupebowlere:
supebowlerE Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
i use both but only becouse i am on swim team so yes
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Ah, that's cool.
Reply
:iconsupebowlere:
supebowlerE Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
my friends are scard of them
Reply
:iconroronoa-d-riku:
Roronoa-D-Riku Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
After reading this story and most comments,.....

Welll, I wonder if any GUYS are reading this....O.o

Great stor. Usually, I'm don't read AmericaxReader's but this is very funny!! ^^
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I don't usually write AmericaxReader's, but this seemed to fit.
Reply
:iconfujiko30197:
Fujiko30197 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
I thought this was going to be about Al obsessing over Shark Week coming on Discovery Channel. :iconfailplz:
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Lol. No. I call my period "shark Week"
Reply
:iconfujiko30197:
Fujiko30197 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
I realize that now. I only call mine "time of the month" or "the enemy within."
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Haha.
Reply
:iconthe-puzzle-ninja:
The-Puzzle-Ninja Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
*clutches lower abdomen* THE PAIN!

I died at "Do you want me to die?" XD
Very cute
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I know, right? It's horrid.


Lol. I'm very glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconrachael9989:
rachael9989 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
great one-shot i laughed soo much but it really sucks cause ive just figured out i will be on my period on Christmas :(
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you! I'm glad I made you laugh at the irony!

Aw, that sucks. I wont get mine until after New Years.
Reply
:iconrachael9989:
rachael9989 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
:'(
Reply
:iconkalliat:
kalliat Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That awkward moment when you have your period.
;-;

Ok.

...I've never even used tampons XD aaaaaand now my sister Jo is going spaz because everyone thinks it's her.

ROFLMAO
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Lol. I'm on mine too. That's why I wrote it. /Shot


Oh, I always use tampons. I can't stand wearing pads. They make me feel like an infant because they feel like diapers to me. Haha.
Reply
:iconkalliat:
kalliat Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I have never used stamp on, and since I'm not a teen yet I don't feel comfortable putting something up there.

...although Iw I'll be thirteen in a week.
Reply
:iconnicky-hetalia:
Nicky-Hetalia Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Why the fuck can't mother nature just send us a text every month say congratulations you are/are not pregnant. See you next month!
Seriosly.....
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Lol. I know right. That would be so flippen awesome. C:
Reply
:iconnicky-hetalia:
Nicky-Hetalia Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Wouldn't it!
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Yeah. I would be so happy. XD
Reply
:iconnicky-hetalia:
Nicky-Hetalia Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
Same!
Reply
:iconkalliat:
kalliat Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I KNOW ;-;
Reply
:iconnicky-hetalia:
Nicky-Hetalia Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
*sighs*
Reply
:iconangie-ange:
Angie-ange Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
I dont call it shark week i call that thing T.O.M and I always say to my friends T.O.M is staying the whole week with me or T.O.M made and unexpected visit by the way I love the story XD
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Haha that's awesome! What does T.O.M stand for?

Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconangie-ange:
Angie-ange Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012
Time of month= T.O.M
Reply
:iconsexyanimelover:
sexyanimelover Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Ah, okay.
Reply
:iconkenkospellcaster:
KenkoSpellCaster Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Lol, shark week, that's a new one, i call it maintenance week.
Reply
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